Do I have to?

Almost a year and a half ago I lost my oldest sister.  I miss her dearly and reach for the phone constantly.  I miss our chats, and our fights, and our giggles. Tomorrow I am going to attempt to do a task I have been putting off for this past 18 months.

Nobody should have to go through their sister’s things and decide what to do with them. She lovingly acquired it all.  Does it get sent to Goodwill? A women’s shelter? Can I bear to let it go?  Thankfully, I will not be alone.  My wonderful middle sis will be with me.  She is coming up from states away to help me do this.  I only hope we can get through the day without to many tears.  Hopefully, we will only remember the funny stories of our youth, when the big sister orchestrated all of our fun; and told us what to do and how to do it.

She isn’t here to tell us what to do anymore.  It is upon us to make those choices and those decisions.  I hope we are moving on the way she would like us to.

I sure miss her.


Coping With Life and Death

Last week I attended a class to learn how to knit socks.  I arrived early, picked my seat and waited for the class to begin.  Five women walked into the room and sat down. Since we didn’t know each other, the instructor asked us to give our name and tell why we were there.  Obviously we were all there to learn to knit socks, right? Then why, when it came to my turn did I state my name and say “I’m learning to knit socks because my sister died”.  Well you could have heard a pin drop.  Who says such a thing when they meet a group of strangers?  Evidently I do!

And let me tell you, I am not knitting any old pair of socks, I am knitting a $100 pair of socks.  When I added up what it cost I was astounded at what I spent to avoid dealing with my sister’s death.  $40 for the class, $19 for the book, $9 for the needles, and $30 for the wool!  I am going to have the most expensive socks on the block.  They will need to by dry cleaned they are so valuable.  They better come out well.

Did you know that knitting socks require the manipulation of five needles at a time.  I am talking little, double pointed needles.  Now I am not that coordinated, but I seem to be doing ok.  After two weeks of knitting this is what I have….I like pink…not bad for a newbie.IMG_0940