Trust your gut

 

image¬†I was working on my sock last night. I have done the heel flap and am working on the gusset. ¬†That’s where you pick up stitches and turn the direction of your knitting, making a cute little ridge. ¬†But after knitting oh, like twenty rows, I discovered that I have a hole in my gusset. ¬†The horror! ¬†I know I can rip it back and fix the problem, but I don’t have the skill level for ripping out that much and not dropping a stitch. ¬†So, I have decided to do what I always do and play the Miss Scarlet (you know, from¬†Gone With the Wind)…..I’ll think about that another day. ¬†Seems like doing that is a life long pattern of mine and it doesn’t always work out that well. ¬†For example:

Shortly after I got divorced at 35, I met a man.  Turns out I met a creep, but I digress.  I met him at work in the smoking area.  Nasty habit but that was the place to be to learn all the corporate gossip.  Anyway, he was a contractor and we struck up a relationship.  We went out several times, he met my boys, and I was infatuated.  It was nice to have someone pay attention to me after being dumped for a woman 10 years my junior.  I thought he was a really nice guy.

One Saturday we were supposed to go to a friends party. ¬†I waited for him to come and get me, and I waited and waited. ¬†I called every second for about 3 hours and then I gave up. ¬†I told myself that something must really be wrong if he couldn’t call. ¬†When he did get in touch with me there was a story about how his car broke down out in the country and he couldn’t get to a phone etc…I really wanted to believe him, but something in the back of my head wasn’t really buying it. ¬†But I pushed it down and we continued dating like nothing had happened. ¬†Turns out, this disappearing act was not an isolated instance. ¬†But still, even though my friends and gut were telling me dump this guy, I stuck with it. ¬†Poor self esteem will make you do stupid things.

Before I knew it, he had taken up residence in my house, pretended to go to work daily, and turned my life inside out. ¬†I came home early one day and found him doing something on the new computer I had just got. ¬†I didn’t know anything about the internet at that time so I couldn’t figure out what was going on. ¬†I told him I wanted him to leave. He said he would, he never did. ¬†Finally, I had had enough and called a lawyer who said I had to give him written notice of eviction with 30 days to leave. ¬†I did so. ¬†He did so. ¬†However, on the day he left, he evidently stole my gas credit card. ¬†Ok, I called the company, reported it stolen, gave them his name and let them duke it out.

Boy was I in for a surprise. ¬†About two weeks later, I got a phone bill for $34,000! ¬†Holy shmoly. ¬†Turns out he was looking at porn etc on the internet. ¬†(Those were the days when they charged your phone) ¬†Again to the lawyer I went. ¬†After several letters, the phone company dropped the charges and the lawyer set out to sue the guy. ¬†Big surprise, I didn’t know his real name. ¬†He had changed my cable account so that he could watch porn and several other unsavory things hit me over time. ¬†What ever possessed me to ignore my gut. ¬†I kept thinking that I was wrong and if there was something squirrely I could fix it later.

Later was a disaster that could have ruined me financially for life. ¬†I made a good living, but not that good. ¬†Thank goodness for my parents. ¬†They came to my rescue and this time there wasn’t any I told you so etc. ¬†They were all about helping me repair¬†a terrible situation and move on. ¬†I do have to say, it took me a really long time to trust anyone again. ¬†And even 20 years later, I still have trust issues.

This is a much abbreviated rendition of what happened. ¬†The “relationship” I had with this man negatively impacted every aspect of my life; from my interaction with my friends and family to my children. ¬†Even my ex husband was effected by this situation. ¬†I don’t really understand how someone could be so callus as to take advantage of someone else. ¬†I hope Karma really is the Bitch I think she is and has rained her wrath on this man. ¬†mvb

 

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